To Tell You the Truth

I am angry. I am so angry.

My child hasn't been getting enough to eat, and I didn't know it. When I suspected it months ago, they told me I was wrong. I believed them, and she went on to eat too little.  She went on to be poked by strangers every day of the week, tested for all kinds of scary things.

I feel sick. 

She wanted to eat all the time. She cried while nursing.  She cried most of the day and wouldn't take naps.  She was hungry, and I doubted myself.

Please forgive me, Lord, for failing my baby.  Please forgive me, sweet Edie, for not knowing.  For taking four months to feed you well.  

I feel sick. And so, so angry.