Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Baby Rock's First Trimester

I updated this post every week throughout my first trimester but waited to share it until we were past the higher risk of miscarriage portion of pregnancy.  I am so excited to finally open up about what's going on in our lives, but first you need to be filled in on the last few months!

Also, some of you may remember THIS POST from three months ago.  I promise I wasn't lying to you--we weren't trying for this babe! Little did we know, he or she was already on the way when I wrote it! The Lord's plans are so much bigger than ours!

February 9th, 2014 (10 days after positive home pregnancy test)

The anxiety is KILLING me, you guys.  It has stolen my joy. I did exactly what I should not have done upon finding out I was pregnant: I opened my laptop and searched everything that could possibly go wrong with our little nugget.  I did it with the intention of figuring out what I should be doing to take care of our babe and myself, but it grew into something toxic.  I've convinced myself I'll miscarry any minute now.  Or I'll go into my first appointment and find out the baby stopped developing and a miscarriage is on its way.  The number of pregnancies that end up this way are far less than the number of pregnancies that result in a baby, but somehow I've flipped the statistics in my head.  I'll never meet this little one, I've told myself.

We found out we were pregnant the evening of Friday, January 31st, after a trip to Target to look at home decor and baby gifts for a couple of our expecting friends.  I was a few days late, so we bought a couple boxes of home pregnancy tests.  "If nothing else, they'll be good to have around the house for the future," we agreed.  I didn't know I'd end up taking three that night and the last one the next morning to convince myself this was for real.  Since it was Friday night, I had to wait to call my doctor, which resulted in the excessive googling I mentioned above.  After a weekend of this, you can imagine how miserable it made me when I called first thing Monday morning to find out they wouldn't look for a heartbeat until I was 12 weeks along.  "So, I won't actually know if there's a baby growing inside of me for another two months?" I asked the nurse in a panic.  "Yes, that's correct." WHAT. 

A week has passed, and I've mellowed out a little.  I still have moments I feel like I could burst into tears and begin mourning this baby before I even know what's going on, but I'm trying to tell myself it's the crazy new hormones.  I am not a panicy person, so this is all new to me.

After a good talk Wednesday night with my sweet friend Kaitlyn (who will be giving birth to baby Harlow any day now!), I felt more at peace and also realized I had forgotten to tell the lady who answered the phone about my medical history.  I called back Thursday morning, asked for my doctor's nurse and explained everything from my PCOS to my anxiety.  She told me I needed an early ultrasound, and we scheduled an appointment for next Tuesday.

Praise the Lord I don't have to wait as long to get an idea of where we are. I told Daniel I've decided to talk about things like we ARE having a baby (I said "if we end up having a baby" most of the first week).  The Lord gives and takes away, and I'd rather see it as a time he gave us crazy joy, finding out I am for real able to conceive, and then took it away for a greater purpose, than waste the first chunk of my pregnancy mourning something that hasn't yet passed.  For now, I choose to believe my husband and I created life, and that is a STRAIGHT UP MIRACLE!

We haven't told our families yet.  We're waiting to tell anyone until after the first appointment, where we'll hopefully hear a heartbeat.  I'm praying we hear a heartbeat.


Baby Size: Apple seed! Baby Rock's heart is developing this week, along with several other major organs.  That is just SO crazy to me.

Weight Gain: None. I do feel bloaty and gross often.

Symptoms: Sore boobs, mild cramping, sore back, so tired! And when I get hungry I start to feel a little gross.

Exercise: Haven't really toned it down much. Running every morning plus weights, walk/bike after work plus yoga.

Cravings: Carrots dipped in hummus and apples dipped in peanut butter have been my go to meals the past week.

Get that away from me: Eggs. Yuck. Don't even want to think about them.

February 16th, 2014

I wish I could throw up.  I NEED to throw up.  I feel yuck and it's all I can do to not crawl under my desk and lie there until I'm allowed to go home.

Another week down though, which is a good feeling.  Talking to my dad on the phone daily has become something I almost dread because I can't tell you how many times I've nearly casually brought up the pregnancy.  It's obviously on my mind a lot--I'm ready to talk about it!

We celebrated our first and only Valentine's Day as a married couple without little ones this weekend.  My waves of nausea made things a little more difficult, but overall it was wonderful. It's crazy to imagine how different next year might look, though!

I have an early ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday, and I'm trying to be more excited than nervous.  I'm mostly thankful the Lord passed the last few weeks as quickly as He did.  Praying we'll see a heartbeat!


Baby Size: Lentil bean! Sweet thing's face is starting to form :)

Weight Gain: None, but I've become a little more...chesty.  I guess that's a good way to put it.  

Symptoms: Nausea, sore boobs, off and on cramping, and the need for a nap after work.

Exercise: Still running plus weights every morning, and biking/walking and yoga after work. I've also added in some hip hop dancing, which is super fun :)

Cravings: At the moment, I'd be okay if I never saw food again. But I really wanted a cheeseburger this weekend.  Daniel grilled burgers and onions Saturday.  I miss cheese.

Get that away from me: Everything. Smelling my dogs was making me gag this morning.

UPDATE: February 18th, 2014--We saw a perfect, strong little heartbeat!  Oh my goodness oh my goodness oh my goodness! :) Baby Rock is measuring in at 6 weeks 2 days, right on target.  We have another early ultrasound scheduled at 8 weeks to make sure everything is progressing.

Sweet one, I already can't wait to meet you and kiss your perfect little cheeks. Your daddy and I are so excited for you to join us! He has been so sweet to me since he saw your little heart flicker.  We love you so much already, even though you're only 5 mm long! Keep growing, boo!  

February 23rd, 2014

We went home this weekend and shared the news with our immediate families.  I can't decide which reaction was my favorite.  My brother was unusually sweet (love you, Jake :) ) and really excited for us, so that was a lot of fun. :) I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest in the moments leading up to sharing our news. Everyone was super supportive (although very surprised!) on both sides of the family.


Baby Size: Blueberry! Hands and feet are starting to poke out from baby's little arms and legs. Baby Rock has an eye color, too!

Weight Gain: Haven't weighed myself, but I'm feeling thinner. Hardly able to make myself eat anything the past four or five days, and when I do, it's generally just a piece of fruit.

Symptoms: Nausea, sore boobs, off and on cramping, and the need for a nap after work.

Exercise: Running through my nausea in the morning plus weights, bike/walk after work plus a little dancing and yoga.

Cravings: Not many.  When I do have one, it's something I can't have.  For about ten minutes last night I thought I'd die if I didn't get my hands on a Chipotle burrito with sour cream, which I haven't had in months due to my diet change.  Didn't get one, though, and I'm alive.

Get that away from me: Most things. My house smells like dogs to me now. My co-workers' deoderants are way too strong. Coffee...yuck.

Praying for you morning, noon, and night, sweet little one! All these yucky changes actually make me more excited than anything since they're leading me to meeting you.

March 2nd, 2014

We had another ultrasound appointment this week. Eeeee Baby Rock has grown five times his/her size in just two weeks and has a perfect heartbeat at 160. Nugget actually looks like a baby now--the doctor pointed out the butt and head and everything! These moments are so special.

After the ultrasound, I had my official prenatal appointment. We went over finances and I had bloodwork done. I haven't heard anything back from the doctor's office, so I'm hoping that means everything looks good!


Baby Size: Raspberry! Webbed fingers and toes are starting to take shape on little one's hands and feet. So crazy!

Gender: Won't know for a while, but we're thinking boy.  Just because :)

Weight Gain: Lost six pounds (probably mostly water weight from not eating anything salty). Eating is hard.

Symptoms: NAUSEA. It's intense this week and ALL THE TIME. And I had a four day constipation thing, which is probably TMI but if I can help any other new mommas out there by shouting PRUNE JUICE from the rooftops, then it's worth sharing. :)

Exercise: Running/biking through my nausea in the morning plus weights, walking the dogs, hip hop dancing and yoga in the evenings.

Cravings: Cinnamon toast crunch in the mornings. And I have found the most delicious jackpot of all that is gluten free--Van's Cinnamon Heaven cereal is AWESOME and easy on my tummy. Other than that, mostly nothing. I've had a few brief moments of really wanting Mojito's chicken enchiladas, but those don't last long.

Get that away from me: Dog food, and most other things.

Little babe, I'm already convinced you look like your daddy, and that makes me SO excited! You're teeny tiny still, but I'm so enjoying our brief moments together first thing in the morning.  I wake up and remember you growing, thank God I'm ultimately not responsible for it (it's so crazy that I really have no control over what you're doing in my body!), and hold my hand to my tummy while asking Him to grow you up to be strong and faithful. Love you, my sweet little raspberry!
March 9th, 2014

This week I broke down and purchased What to Expect When You're Expecting, and I'm probably way too excited to work my way through it :) I'm feeling more pregnant than ever--I'm hardly eating, but somehow very bloated.  I can smell EVERYTHING within a five mile radius, I think. But you know what? I'm not complaining! Because this whole deal is so crazy wonderful and I am SO excited to continue growing this little nugget until we get to meet him or her face to face.  The Lord used my husband and I to create life, and that is just so stinkin' cool, I think I can handle these yucky feelings for a while. :)


Baby Size: Strawberry! Baby is an inch long this week. Tiny heart is finishing up dividing into four chambers, and the sex organs are formed and present! So excited to find out what we're having in ten more weeks!

Gender: Don't know! We say boy, but there's a 50% chance we're wrong :)

Weight Gain: Still down 6 pounds, but feeling large and in charge.  I know it's mostly just hormones, though, because my clothes still fit normally (except my bras--I'm pretty much only wearing sports bras).

Symptoms: Nausea--mostly late at night.  Back pain.  And I'm starting to have more moments of sudden cravings--from what I'm reading, I may be on the uphill to getting over morning sickness! Eating much of anything makes me feel uncomfortably full for hours, though--digestion is a slow process these days.

Exercise: Running and toning weights every morning and walking, dancing, yoga in the evenings. Excited to start riding bikes outside now that it's getting nice!

Cravings: Apples, mashed potatoes, barbecue, ice cold water with lemon (this really helps my nausea!).

Get that away from me: Anything super perfumey, fish (Daniel made some for himself a few nights ago and I wanted to run away).

Strawberry baby! This is the first week your daddy and I really said, "Wow, that is CRAZY how big he or she already is!" It's absolutely magical to consider you growing so quickly without me being able to feel it.  Keep it up, little one! We can't wait to feel your kicks in the coming weeks!

March 16th, 2014

I'm starting to feel more like myself this week! Baby Rock has become more of a normal consideration in daily conversation between Daniel and me..."Well, when the baby's born we'll..."  "And then after we have the baby..."  "I'll be nearing my due date then, so..."  This babe has become the real deal in our minds, and I am feeling more attached to little one and the thought of being his/her mommy.  Daniel is, too--he initiated touching and talking to my belly this weekend, and it was the sweetest moment.  :)

Also, we ordered this little outfit on clearance from Gap.  Daniel had a gift card and I couldn't resist--it'll be SO cute on a boy or a girl! I've just been staring at it :)

10 WEEKS: 

Baby Size: Prune! About an inch and a half long. Little babe has completed the most critical part of development and has graduated from an embryo to a fetus! Hair is beginning to grow, and baby is swallowing and kicking. SO CRAZY!

Gender: Don't know--but based on development, the organs should be there either way!

Weight Gain: Still down from my starting weight, but as of the last few days, I'm eating and cooking again! Weeks 6-9 were toughest on my tummy, but my appetite is almost back to normal. Still wearing all of my normal clothes comfortably.

Symptoms: Now that my nausea is on its way out, the cravings have begun.  Last night I really wanted pancakes and hotdogs.  We were at a basketball game, so I didn't get either one.  Raisins have become my snack of choice.  My lower back hurts at night, and between that and getting up to pee at least twice, I'm having a hard time sleeping.  In the past week I've also broken out along my hairline, and I've never really had acne problems.  The hormones, man.

Exercise: Work out routine is the same but I've been able to pick my intensity back up this week now that I don't feel like throwing up, which has been really nice. I'm a fan of sore muscles.

Cravings: Mexican food, hotdogs, pancakes, buttered popcorn, pop tarts.  Praise the Lord for the discipline this gluten/dairy free diet has developed in me, because I can pretty much just tell myself NOPE, CAN'T EAT THAT and move on.

Get that away from me: I'm doing better with the insanity of my sense of smell, but Daniel bought a new kind of dog food (bless his heart, but SALMON? UGH) that smells SO STINKING TERRIBLE.

March 23rd, 2014

After talking to Daniel a little about wanting to have a natural birth and not knowing the hospital's policy on doing so, I decided to watch a documentary (on Netflix!) I've been hearing about for a while.  The Business of Being Born explores the natural birth option, mostly through the lens of midwifery.

I didn't agree with everything said in the film, but it did definitely prompt me to explore my options a little more.  So this week I'm researching midwives, doulas, and the only birth center we have in the area.  I have an appointment with my doctor Wednesday, so I plan to ask him about the hospital's policies before I make a bunch of phone calls, but it's nice to know we might have options.  I'm sure I'll discuss my opinion on all of this more extensively later in my pregnancy! :)

11 WEEKS: 

Baby Size: Lime! We've graduated from nuts and berries, friends. :) Baby is kicking and stretching.  Can't wait until I can feel that!

Gender: We don't know yet, but the few people we've told are all making their guesses! Everyone says boy except my dad--he visited this weekend and told me to "Stop poking her!" when I touched my belly.

Weight Gain: Still down from my starting weight, but my appetite is pretty well back and I haven't felt nauseated in a while.  Hooray!  Still comfortably wearing all of my normal clothes.

Symptoms: Lower back pain, headaches here and there. Feeling more like myself, for the most part, aside from getting a nasty cold a few days ago.

Exercise: Same workout routine :) I don't see the need to modify until my belly pops out or the doctor tells me to.

Cravings: Everything, but I blame not being able to taste or smell anything for the past three days due to my cold.  I just want to eat something and TASTE it!

Get that away from me: Can't smell or taste anything, so nothing is bothering me today!

I'm SO excited to hear your heartbeat this week, baby love! 

March 30th, 2013

We heard Sweet Thing's heartbeat a couple of days ago! It was the most glorious sound, and so fast! At 160 bpm, our doctor said, "If you believe in the Old Wive's Tale, you're having a little girl!"

This week we have announcing this crazy news on our minds.  We made the decision to make it public on April Fools Day (if everything went well) like a month ago.  Now that it's here, it almost makes me nervous, like we're breaking some big rule by telling, haha.  We got used to hiding it!  But as of two days ago I have a hard little bump right above and between my hip bones when I'm lying down--I woke up and absent-mindedly touched my tummy and immediately snapped out of my half-asleep state.  I made Daniel feel it, too--my uterus has definitely started to pop up and out.  My clothes all still fit fine--I'm not one for super tight shirts or anything--so I don't think it wouldn't be noticeable to anyone else, but it's so crazy to feel and see my body changing when I'm not doing anything differently!

Aside from hearing baby boo's perfect heart beating at our appointment this past week, I also asked my doctor a bunch of questions about the hospital's policies on labor and delivery.  I didn't love most of the answers, so we're touring a local birthing center and meeting a midwife this week! I'm not sure if it'll go anywhere because insurance plays a big role in the whole thing, but I'm excited to see what our options are.

Baby Size: Lemon! Little babe's face is looking more like a human baby and less like an alien--I can't wait to see it! Reflexes are finishing up developing :)

Gender: No idea, but I've dreamt we had a girl four nights in a row now.

Weight Gain: At my 12 week appointment I was still down five pounds.

Symptoms: Lower back nerve pain is the main thing.  My appetite is fully back and the cravings are FOR REAL.

Exercise: Same, morning and evening! Trying to incorporate more of a variety of yoga stretches and poses to keep my hips and back open.  And my doctor asked me what my mile times were and told me to slow it down, so I'm moseying a little more on my morning runs with the dogs.

Cravings: Ants on a log--randomly channeling my old Girl Scout campout days.  I seriously had peanut butter and raisins on celery stalks today.  I normally hate celery. But hey, I suppose it could be way worse!

Get that away from me: My cold is gone and I can smell again, but nothing in particular is bothering me!

Baby boo, now that we're close to sharing our big news, you're feeling even more real to me :) I am so excited to have more friends and family praying for you alongside us.  I've been having so many dreams about delivering you! I can hardly wait for that day, but for now I'm loving that you're growing and moving and becoming the healthiest you can be before you join us.  Hang out as long as you'd like, sweet pea! Love love love you.


So excited to keep watching this babe grow!


1 comment:

  1. It’s true that the trauma has something to do with anxiety you’re feeling this time. However, you have to free yourself from stress. You can take the former event as a reminder that you have to take care of yourself, so that it won’t happen again. Keep believing!

    Cathy Stewart