I'm so excited to introduce you to another sweet friend of mine--Kaitlyn! Kaitlyn and her husband Jacob host the young couples small group Daniel and I are in, and we just LOVE them. Kaitlyn tells it like it is but does so with grace and love, and Jacob doesn't hide how much he adores her and values what she has to say. I admire their relationship a lot. AND they're expecting their first little one in a couple of months--eeek!
10 Things I've Learned in Our First Year + of Marriage
1.Let your husband be the man.
I know we have all heard it many times that men require respect to feel loved. Feeling respected and like he is the head of the household will be a great motivator for him to show you the love you need in return. For some of us strong-willed independent ladies (myself included) this can be a learning experience. In the end we should trust and submit to our husband knowing that he is seeking God’s wisdom for your family.
2. Eat together.
After the dating is over and the “real world” of marriage arrives you will have to start fixing meals at home. Preparing dinners together is our catching up time. This is usually when we share about our day and do a little venting, too. This is precious alone time before you have kids.
3. Let him know you are praying for him.
I pray for my husband several times a day. It is your duty as a Godly wife to consistently pray for your partner. I don’t do it often enough, but send him a text to let him know that you are approaching the throne on his behalf. If you aren’t praying for him, then who is?
4. Love each other’s families.
When you join lives with another person, you also join their family. Accepting and understanding another family’s dynamic can be one of the most difficult parts of marriage. It is important to always have a loving and honoring heart toward your spouse’s family no matter how difficult it may be. They aren’t going anywhere ;)
5. Have sex.
I know this is not one that most of us need much convincing on! Marriage is possibly the most intimate decision you will ever make. Not just sexually. You are committing to live in the same place with the same person for the rest of your life on earth. They will know things and see things, the deepest inside-your-soul type of things. A great way to share this intimacy is by having sex with your spouse.
6. Be best friends.
Your spouse should be your favorite person to spend time with. I’m not saying that having friends is not important, it is. It is ok to have your girl friends, and he to have his guy time. But the time you spend together should be most valued. Pray for the Lord to give you couple friends. This way you can spend time together while cultivating relationships with others. It is helpful to have like-minded couples to do life with.
7. Fight fair.
You will fight. We are humans, and as humans our occasional selfish responses cause us to conflict with our spouse. As a wife it is important to know that your words can make your husband feel disrespected, and in return his words can make you feel unloved. This is the vicious cycle of an argument. Again, for those of us that have stubborn personalities, being the first one to apologize can feel like drinking poison. But spending time praying for a spirit of gentleness is important, and being the first to concede is to be more like Christ.
8. Pray for others.
Spend time praying for other married couples. This marriage thing is hard, and praying for God to bless other marriages is important. Marriages are dying all the time, so lets do what we can to help them thrive.
9. Understand his love language.
Find out what makes your spouse feel the most loved. Is he “words of affirmation” or maybe “physical touch?” Learn how to make his day--whether it’s a gift or just spending time talking. You are the person he comes home to everyday--let him know you missed him and are excited to see him.
10. Exercise together.
Find something active that you both like doing, and do it together. It’s fun and it makes you feel good to exercise.
Thank you all for the sweet responses to yesterday's post--I appreciate your encouragement and excitement for us very much!